Stranger Than Most

By SUSAN LAUTZ

Lots of people take lots of abuse because they’re afraid to stand up for themselves. I see this constantly in my practice. A parent, sibling, boss or even child will consistently display rude, insensitive and insulting behaviors which my clients feel helpless to rebuke. Usually there’s some sort of emotional blackmail going on.

For example, parents of adult children use the (al leged) inheritance as leverage to boss everyone around, thus making the siblings compete for favor. Adult children also frequently use the grandchildren as leverage to make the parents obey. I hope to never again hear the phrase “She won’t let me see my grandkids!” wailed in my office. But I will.

And, of course, bosses are, at best, trying to get as much work as they can for as little pay as they can get away with. At worst, they are using their employees as guinea pigs on which to work out their own deep-seated emotional problems. Bullies never grow out of it. They just get jobs at the DMV.

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